As the year went on, though, a lot of good things started to come; I left therapy on a much better note, No Bitches? was completed in a timely manner to (mostly) rave reviews, and so, so much more. Something I started doing in August of last year was keeping a log of any good thing, from a cute dog I saw on my walk to school to an update of all the cool things I saw in South Korea and Japan, every single day on my Notes app. And to recap my year, I’ve decided to take a few of those good things from my log and share them with you here.

2024 was truly the best and the worst of times, but also a reminder of how mentally and emotionally strong and resilient I really am.

1. August 17: I found out what the tiny train tracks near the bike trail are for.

Biking has become a form of escapism for me; with a riverside bike trail near me, I’ve biked along the whole trail starting from the COVID pandemic till now. Along the way, there is a park with a set of little train tracks that for the longest time I had no idea what they were actually for, until this day. Seeing smaller-scale but fully operational trains operated by people this day was a first for me, and added even more respite to an already calming session of biking.

2. September 29: Good study session with my friends from Economics

Being a student of Film Studies and Economics with an emphasis on film at my university has led me to create a friend group of almost exclusively film students. This year was the first year I branched out of the world of film at my school and made friends with fellow students of totally different backgrounds and fields of study. Simply put: I didn’t realize how much I needed a different group of peers, as it only enriched my semester which later would be one of my best, both academically and emotionally. With all of us sticking together to finish out the major, I have no doubts we will be friends for much, much longer.

3. October 2: The Longest Johns!!

First concert ever!! I got sucked into the sea shanty craze that took over TikTok in 2021 and I never really got out of it. The Longest Johns, my musical top artist of last year, also was my first concert experience ever, and it was everything I hoped for and more. Singing other people who loved shanties as much as me for the first time was such a good experience that makes me so happy I bought a ticket on a whim one day.

4. November 1: Carpool karaoke

Something that occurred last year that I didn’t initially notice was the fact that I was singing more. I’m not a trained singer but it’s always been something I did, but almost exclusively in private. Last year I took the big step of singing around my friends, which culminated in a near night-long carpool karaoke session on the way to Los Angeles for a club event. I’ll never forget harmonizing, singing so high my throat hurt, and slowly losing my voice in the happiest way possible.

5. December 31: Rang in 2025 from Seoul, South Korea

For two and a half weeks this winter I visited South Korea for the first time as an adult, and Japan for the first time period. It was a time where I saw how big my family really is and how supportive they are of me, I found out my Korean speaking is actually really good, I experienced the best conversion rates ever in Tokyo and Korea, and I started 2025 on Korean news broadcasts (most definitely, at least), among so many other things. I finally feel rested and ready for a new semester of school and a new year of life.

Last year I spent time on three continents, helped create two big short films, applied for almost ten internships, started a Substack, and helped out so many of my friends. Here’s to more good things in 2025!

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To that end, things have actually turned out quite well for me. I went in with few expectations and have come away with only pleasant feelings. My page may still be new but right now, I’m truly happy because I largely got what I came to Substack for: an audience of friends who’ve graciously subscribed and fellow writers whose work I love reading and engaging with. I feel that I’ve gotten what I’ve put into Substack and then some.

As well as the fact that, wait for it - I’m only two weeks on this platform. To expect the levels of quality work and engagement that I expect from myself is ludicrous, but unfortunately not new for me.

It all started today when I remembered that I placed a weekly publishing basis for my movie review page, The Heart and Soul Series. As a result, I have two days to meet this deadline I’ve put onto myself. It wasn’t a bad idea in concept; one of the keys to growth as an artist is constantly putting yourself out there, which translates to a consistent to semi-consistent uploading schedule of work on a platform like this. I have a biweekly uploading schedule for my other publication, A Screenwriter’s Unfilmed Shorts, which I honored a few days ago.

However, two warring thoughts have been raging in my psyche since - first, the part of me that says I can do it. Right now, I don’t have a shortage of completed works. I have stuff I can publish, so it isn’t like I’m scrambling to meet the deadline. But the other part of me says I’ll eventually run out of completed works. I’m a student at one of the toughest universities in the world, let alone the United States. These factors combined will lead to a dip in my writing quality if I try to upload on a weekly basis, which is not even considering the fact I am also currently working two internships and will direct a short film next year. This part of me is sending an all-to-familiar message loud and clear - I can’t do it.

So I’m at a crossroads right now. On one hand, yes - I am very, very busy. Time management is at an all time high this year and that means sacrifices have to be made. But on the other hand, writing for Substack has been a positive experience that I only want to keep doing. What’s the harm of trying a little more to grow a bigger audience?

Something I know I need to work on is patience, this year more than ever. I’m at a point in my life where I’m feeling a restlessness and wanting to make a big step in my career and life, which takes the form of a bubbling anxiety in my chest. It’s not the type of anxiety that freezes me in place so I don’t make a single move out of fear, but rather a nervous excitement that tells me I can and will do something great, even if I don’t know what it will be yet. The problem, though, is while I’m far from unhappy with what’s been going on in my life, oftentimes I’m still stuck with the feeling that I should be doing more. It’s a feeling that has such a hold on me that even a simple decision on when I should publish something here piqued it, leaving me filled more with the less savory but more familiar anxiety that I had to conquer to even get started exactly two weeks ago.

All that being said, however, regardless of the strangeness of today I’m still so thankful for the last two weeks. To all my subscribers and readers, thank you so much. The engagement on some of the most personal pieces I’ve written has been nothing short of comforting and fulfilling. And this is by no means the end of anything; after all, I still have pieces to publish, lol. That won’t change anytime soon. I just need to figure out a system that balances all the stuff I’m doing in my life and I really need to shake myself by the shoulders and remind myself that I’m only two weeks into Substack. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

Anyways, this was just me shouting into the void; deep down I know what I just experienced is completely natural for anyone who’s just starting out on Substack like me. If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for your time. I’ll do something for you all yet. If nothing else, even if my uploading schedule takes a turn, I’ll always be around and I’ll look forward to the great things I and everyone else who’s just starting out will do, whenever they may be.